BESTEST BIRTHDAY EVAH!!!!!!! Freelz.

Talk about the PERFECTEST day you gize!  Holy my spoiled bratpan!

First thing in the AM I got a call from Sky-Dawgg/G wishing me a happy birthday.  We talked lots of smack and then he said he had to call his Dad.  I always forget he has the same birthday as me.  And I love that G always calls me first.  I win.

Then the outdoor clothes part kickoff was at like 1pm (cuz you girlerz respeck my need for not being bugged in the morning...which is prezzie in and of itself)

RED ROBINNED by Eekareek/Sara, Hotpants/Amy, TwoThumbsUp/Winnie and the infamous MP/Katie!!!!!  p.s. Winnie is even more adorable in person.  Try to imagine it.  After you read the rest of this stuff.

(we will get to the monetary prezzies they gave me in a little bit.  But trust me.  They are awesome.  DON'T SCROLL you jerkface!)

Then RodTodd took me and the Ps to dessert at TTCF!!!!

I don't know if you can tell..but by this point...I wanted to projectile barfers.

My Mom gave me the sweetest card.  Cept the part where she gave RT all the credit for my being way more awesome this year than in years previous.  Whatevs.  He did burn my house down tho.  And fire me.

So then guess who came by with MORE PREZZIESSS?????

My widdlest tiniest babies!!!! 

So I took this opportunity to bother them a lot and take headshots for Gramma.

jaykay.  But it's kinda funny.. here's the rill one

I begged him to let me put his hurr did in a pony like Casey James but he said "who?" and "no"

And what the gorgeous is going on here?

reeeedickyouliss.

So then..RT took me to the happiest place on earth.. HOBBY LOBBY!!!  And let me pick out some shiney stuff for the plant shelves.  The 4 foot glass jar that we then went to Winco and filled with bulk bubblegum balls is my fave fyi.

So then..now this is where it gets good.  For RodTodd.  I got out my prezzies from the lunch bunch.  First I tried to seduce him with just the lengerie and lipstick

He said... "uh..what the?  no."

So but what he didn't know is they also gave me Equate brand lube (cuz you know..old ladies need that stuff and Amy said Equate brand is her fayvrit)

and condoms.... (that part I don't get but I think Sara just wanted to be dirty cuz that's how she roles)

He still wasn't totally in to it.  Said something was missing.  I know, WTfreak, right?  Little did he know..they gave me the dealsealerz....

The SCRUNCHIE!!!!!!

He was done for.  And I know you are all hot and bothered now too.  It's not your fault.  It's the power of the scrunch.

But I think we all know this is how I will be wearing them to fancy places like places where you pay AFTER you eat.

Between all this spoiling and the outpouring of love after I threatened peeps on Facebook...the lovepacked texts...the emails with cartoony cards..the stripper.... this was by far my favritt birthday ever so far!!!!!  Oh wait. I got another prezzie too... brb.

kback.

I'm guessing she couldn't bend her pointer finger down cuz of that thingie on it.

THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH!!!!!

p.s. totally unrelated.  When you get in someones car I KNOW it's rude to say "your car smells like hamsters"..k..but if when you get in someones car and it smells like hamsters and they say "btw does my car smell like hamsters?" what is the polite thing to say?  I said no and breathed thru my mouth but I'm second guessing what Donny and Marie would have done.  plzadvize.

The Mish I sorta waited for that I ended up writing a SO super funny dear john to:

jay kay.

Busy week, OM gosh!  It's like everybody wanted to have fun all in the same week fhs!  So G turned 22.  I'm not mad at him about it I'm just disappointed.

::: sigh :::  No more Osh Kosh B'Goshes.  B'Gosh dangit.

Tucanos is awwweeesome btw.  I doubt we could have given blood the next day.

OH did I tell you he has a girlfriend?  She's awesome.  Mostly because she totally thinks I'm awesome.  Srsly I don't think she's fakin/kissin up.  Cuz if so she is going to great lengths..which I respect.  what with the hangin out in jammy pants watching 9 Interventions back to back eating finger foods and stuff.

Aren't they adorable together?

p.s. her name is Hailee with a K.

I bet they will have adorable children if they get married.  Still probably pretty cute even if they don't get married but the odds of getting a funny looker are way higher if you are a sinner and especially if you are a sinner and it's your 4th kid.  I got lucky!!!!

He made me promise not to tell the waiter it was his birthday.

You can totally tell he is in a band the way he commands that tamborine.  Right?    I dunno what gave it away..Grandpa holding up his quilt or Grammy saying "It's his 22nd Birthday!" but something tipped them off.

The trouble makers:

the only time the meat stop/go light wooden thingy was on red.  And it only lasted like 4 minutes.

PLUS I was too busy to blog cuz I was doing super cute stuff like this!

And helping RodTodd plant shrubs along the side of our house:

Give you one guess who I am texting.  There's no prize fyi.

Backstory of my EX BFF that we shall never mention again

jay kay. 

So anyway this is what I've been up to.

What does this mean to you?  Nothing.  Almost nothing.  Okay, maybe a lil something if  you enjoy mocking things like this:

circa 1991

p.s. the only one that SHOULD have had a blue tongue and be proud of it is Sky-dawgg...who is 3..and barely even noticable in this picture.  Yes.  Yes that is the high school boyfriend of the Landee whose sweatshirt the Madre mailed to Landee rather recently.  Thx for askin.  Yer smart.

Or maybe your cup of tea is more a lil sumpthin from circa 1997

Ess EE Exxy! I don't know if that officially counts as a Christmas sweater tho.  So she prolly can't be in the PTA.  Maybe the Christmas necklace would get her in tho.  I don't blame her.  I blame Utah.

Zionicness in that high a dose makes your judgement skillz of stuff that makes you look hawt....fuzzy.

Or perhaps you are more of a Memzy circa...? fan?

Aunt Visor loved this pic so much she made it their Christmas card that year!  Srsly Memz?   You got murried at Christmas time?  WHA?  You gipped yerself out of lots of saving up for good prezzies time.  And it's hardly noticable that you were barfing your brainz out all night/day/week.  But it will come in super handy if you aren't 100% on your VT'ing that month.  End of the year.  Anniversary.  Christmas... you will be forgived.  Not that I have that kind of authority or nuthin.  Cuz you know.  I'm a girl.

In all fairness from the 97 era here is a pic of me familia:

Oh my bad!  I forgot I have always looked kewl and never did have one of them "awkward phases" so many of you were struck with.  ::: laughs nervously hoping Landee didn't own a camera back then :::

But srsly this is more of what I was doing with all 8,30275,38274,99 pics in that there box nsuch:

Oh snap!  I know.  It's a shame I stopped having kids cuz I got old and selfish.  The world would be a much cuter place if I woulda had like 14 of them.  But three seemed like a safe number.  I know so many good looking people who had a 4th kid that was the ugly one.

OH and I forgot to show you how my husband is the bestest in the world in my best attempt to make you roll your eyes and go "oh fhs" and then text him "you need to grow a set" but without so many vowels

This was awesome but also a mistake on his part.  Cuz now I turn down the covers and if there are no prezzies I get mad/sad/threaten to withold Mommy and Daddy time. 

I read that's what you are spozed to do.  In a book about 2 out rallies.  Making your third marriage not be your third strike or something.

::: starting stopwatch to time when Landee/Eekasara will say "new post plz" :::

Gentlemen...and girlerz... START YER YOLKS!!! (warning: U R gonna be jealous)

It was totally fun but it woulda been way more funner if you were there.

U were missed

HAHA U weren't invited!

YAY I figgerred out how to put words ABOVE the pictures!  (no thanks to YOU.  Not even a little tiny bit fhs)

You got to go pick a prize if you found an egg with a STAR on it!!!!  PRIZES ekwal more fun than NO prizes every time.  RodTodds kids came to this amazevent last year and they totally were stoked to repeat this awesomeness.  Grammy and Grandpa are IN!

(p.s. Emi asked my Mom what they should call them now.... Grandma Janice and Grandpa Jack?  Grammy and Grampa?  Step Grandma and Step Grandpa? Janeese and Quilt King?  Grammy said for them to call them whatever they want..... she prolly shoulda just picked something..srsly... cuz HEY YOU might win if Dallin gets his druthers.  But srsly... ANYTHING but STEP Grandma and Grandpa..right?)

Every Grampa that is awesome has one of these ^^^ in their garage I bet.

He's very serious about the roolz you gize.  VERY serious.  He's learned with this bunch-o-hooligans that you can't just assume anything.  Ever.

YW for the nametags btw.  You will find I'm super helpy like that. 

They were SOOOO essited.  And get this.  ZERO trashtalking.  Among the kids anyway. I might have gestured to Dallin to crunch Aaron's egg.  JAY KAY.  I said to do it to Porter's.

She facebooks.  So yeah.  I tagged her.  Suckah.

What.. you didn't think we'd have an EGG TOSS?  What kinda lamerz party you think we were throwin fhs?

And you wanna see something really super cute?  Okay.

Srsly.  It's like they cloned my RodTodd!  Right?   In a shocking twist BOTH of their fave question is "Um...Kimi...can I pweeze have some candy?"

But yeah I hope you had an awesome Easter too!

BTW I got married! (I tried to do the FB heart here btw but it said I broke my first rule..YAY)

Q) Guess who loves us more than you do?

A) Deanna and Hunka Hoppe that's who! Boy did she make you look like a bad sisterfriend!

Second question: Guess who doesn't know how to get the picture under the words?

Annnnyyyywayyyy.... I realized that the world is not a better place sans knowing what all I got in the mail every day, what my kids did that was SO cute and I was lucky enough to get a pic of, what my husband did that made me MAD/happy/love him more even tho I thought that was totally unpossible, and pictures of what I made for dinner/desert/quilting guild. And of course...how much I heart my sister. So. yw.